Toilet Tree

I am gabberflasted! The bathroom in our bedroom has been gutted by a guy named "Lautenslager" if you can believe that. You can't peepee in there anymore because he kidnapped our toilet. You can't brush your teeth because the sink has disappeared. The pretty blue wallpaper has been harshly dealt with. You can't take a shower because he purloined the doors so that you could be seen naked by anyone passing by--that is, if there was any showerhead or water to take a shower with,,,er, with which to take a shower. The walls, devoid of paper have holes in them. Our bathroom now is just a hut without any furniture or decorations. All this because Lautenslager decimated it and then had the nerve to demand threeeee thousand dollars! I wish I could say that this is the end of the noise and the madness, but not so. The bathroom in the den will be next to suffer the same fate--Armageddon. So now I suppose the result of all this will be trips to Home Depot, Lowes, and Bed Bath and Beyond to find replacements for our losses--a brand new toilet, a shiny new sunken sink, medicine cabinets with lots of drawers. We will need lots of drawers, I suppose, because for some reason we have collected five jars of Vaseline, two bottles of hydrogen peroxide, several tubes of neosporin, four bottles of shaving lotion, and numerous other condiments that we will have no use for. I did feel really bad about losing the toilet; I mentioned to Rh+ that it really should be donated to some charity rather than finding its way to the city dump. So what if it was 25 years old? A new toilet will serve the same function as the old one. I am opposed to treating elderly things as if they no longer have any usefulness. I may even form a protest group to carry signs in the street protesting the toilet tissue--issue, I mean. It will be interesting to see how this situation in our bathroom will be resolved.