"Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle; Old age a regret." (Disraeli)

Just got home from IHOP where Rho had lunch and I had breakfast. I like their "Rise and Shine" for seniors--bacon and eggs, potatoes and toast. Extra for the coffee and the water is free, which is the best part. I like their ice because it's cold. If you don't care for coffee, you can always ask for their cherry diet coke--which is delicious, and it has a real cherry on top. Now that I'm home, I have the whole afternoon to write this blog and count up my money from the Shakespeare class. At the first meeting, their were 13 women and one guy. I'm guessing I might have gotten a few more people if my fee wasn't $37.50. I just tried to stay in line with some of the other courses. Besides, I think 14 people is a real tidy, intimate number for discussion of "Hamlet". Although I was still in a lot of pain on my left side, the class went swimmingly, and I noticed that no one fell asleep.

About the pain--the doc said I had a kidney stone, but I believe it is a bruised or cracked rib. I'm supposed to have an ultra sound on Thursday, so maybe that will tell what the problem is. I really don't remember falling or banging into anything, but there are bruises on my side which leads me to believe it's a rib. Perhaps a baby back rib. I'll never eat those again. I was very uncomfortable while watching the national championship game between Florida and Oklahome. I don't know how a team that scored over 60 points in the last four games they played could be held to 14 by Florida. I'm assuming the Sooners played little girls from some nunnery who never were taught defense. Although it was an exciting game, it was quite sloppy by both teams. I guess they were struck by nerves. I would have liked to see a playoff between Florida, Oklahoma, Utah, Texas, and Southern California. Barack Obama also wants to see a playoff, although I don't know what he has to do with college football. I'm pretty sure, though, that he is going to erect a basketball court somewhere in the White House. He's a bb nut. I think he's about 6'4". I used to be about that height, but now I'm somewhat too short for my weight. Luckily, my scooter can bear 250 pounds. I'm still taller than RH, but so is everyone else, so it's nothing to be proud of; her fire burns brighter.

"The pain of the mind is worse than the pain of the body." (Syrus)

Today I awoke with the same pain in my left side as I had yesterday. I tried calling my doctor to see if he had an opening this afternoon. I'm in great suspense to see what the matter can be. The problem is that in two more days, my class "Fun with Shakespeare" is supposed to begin, and I don't see how I can move around as I like to do while teaching. If you stay in the same spot, the class usually falls asleep, but if you move between the aisles, they are curious as to when you are going to stop and where you are going, so they tend to stay awake. However, the doctor's office was closed for lunch, so I have to wait until after 1pm before I call again. Another problem today is that the cleaning crew is coming about 2:30 and I want to be someplace else, rather than in the house. Maybe I'll go to a movie--or to a mall. If at the mall, all I'll be able to do is to sit down on a big chair and watch the world go by for a couple of hours. Or I'll see how far I can walk with just a cane. The scooter is in the house and I can't take it apart and put it back together as well as RH+ can. Speaking of her, yesterday I accompanied her to the City of Hope "donor" luncheon at Benvenuto's. I had to wear a jacket and a tie. There were about 150 people there. A luncheon is provided every year for people who have contributed financially or with labor for the cause. The food was excellent, but the entertainer was below par--a guy who sang a multitude of songs in Italian. He was definitely in the wrong arena for that considering the dominant ethnic group listening to him. While he was doing his thing, dessert was being served and I opted for one of my favorites--profiteroles. And so, this seems to be the perfect lead-in to my "10 Best" list for the end of my list for meals. My 10 Best desserts are:

1) Chocolate ice cream sundae 2) 7 layer chocolate cake 3) Baked Alaska 4) Napoleon 5) Eclair 6) Apple crisp a la mode 7) Chocolate creme pie 8) NY Style chocolate cheesecake 9) Profiteroles 10) Bananas Foster

Well, I finally reached the doctor after his lunch and he decided that I had a "kidney stone". A kidney stone? I am not aware of having any stones in my diet...stones are not on my 10 best list of delectable delights. At any rate, he prescribed "hydromorphone HCL" tablets for the pain, and ordered an ultra sound for next Thursday. The pill sounds as though it contains some kind of morphine...which is OK with me, as long as it alleviates the stone pain. At this point I don't know how we're going to get rid of it--maybe blow it up. Smash it into small pebbles, perhaps? Anyway, we'll deal with it as we deal with any of the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" that pop up from time to time. Which reminds me that my class of "Hamlet" begins on Friday, and I will have news about how that event will work out. I know you all cannot wait to hear about it. Most of my students will be coming in with walkers, canes, and wheelchairs which is a far cry from mini-skirts.

"The miserable have no other choice, but only hope." (Measure for Measure)

I didn't think that my "10 Best" lists would create such emotional and gustatory reaction. What I expect readers to understand is that these lists represent only my own choices. For example, Bobby doesn't consider salad as an "appetizer"--but I do. A little garden salad before the main course at least stimulates my appetite. And Robin's list contains some esoteric and mysterious pre-meal dishes. And Bobby's opening up "a can of worms" did nothing to advance the cause of culinary delights. But in spite of all these comments, I shall carry on with my mouth watering concoctions that appear on my own plate. And you are all free to decorate your own plates. Here is my list of comfort foods:

1) 3 lb. lobsters 2) Spaghetti and meatballs 3) 9 oz. filet Mignons 4) Pork chow mein 5) Stuffed cabbage with kashe varniskes 6) Nathan's hot dogs 7) Lasagna 8) Florida stone crabs 9) Chopped liver and hot pastrami sandwich combo 10) Western omelets w/ sesame bagel and cream cheese.

Whoever invented these dishes ought to have received a Nobel Prize. Now I don't know which of these meals contains the most calories, if at all, but I'm willing to give them a try in spite of whatever fattening ingredients or cholesterol they contain. After all, you only live once--they say. But you never know if you come back again with the same desires. Speaking of desires, I discussed that with Rhoda this evening and admitted to her that i miss playing golf, I miss walking and jogging, I miss swimming, and I miss the joys of erotic bedtime ventures. But one has to deal with the ageing process which carries along with it the pain of the day. Yesterday the shoulder; today the back, and tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace...etcetera, etcetera.

"Ah take the cash and let the credit go." (Omar Khayam)

Last January 1, the market was teeter-tottering--shaking like a leaf in the wind, rocking like a ship at sea, trembling like an Aspen tree--and above all, making me very nervous. I had no intention of taking the chance of losing a lot of money that I saved for retirement, so I dropped the funds I had in my IRA and had them put in a one-year savings fund at 3%--a paltry but safe investment. Today, I went back to check what my investment would be if I had kept the two IRA funds in the market; the result was that if I had left the money with the mutual funds, I would have lost $10,000 in 2008. Did someone say the economy was in a recession? President elect Obama is coming into office with more major problems than any previous president; the economy, health insurance, three wars to worry about--Iraq, Afghanistan, and Gaza. I cannot help but feel the pain that so many people are undergoing over their finances, their homes, their health, and their sons and daughters in conflict. What can one man do to alleviate the national distress? Hopefully, as Plato suggested, our government will be filled with "Philosopher Kings" who will address these problems and find solutions for them. Or what's a government for?

Lately, I've begun to wonder whether or not the computer adds dimension to one's life or takes it away. I find that Rho and I spend altogether too much time with it, writing and reading dozens of nondescript emails of jokes, coming events, idiotic articles, games, movie and book reviews, sports news, world news, new news, and many other items that take one's time away from doing meaningful work--like housecleaning, the laundry, freezing food, making beds, reading books, taking adult courses, chatting with friends and a myriad of other things that were once done before computing and cell phoning. Besides the email of the computer, snail mail keeps piling up all over the house; hospital and doctor bills, insurance premiums, credit card notices, coupons, bank statements, requests for donations, electric and phone bills, catalogs of every shape, color, and product. What kind of life is this? Consolidate! Consolidate!

As promised, I am continuing the practice of providing my blog readers with my "10 best lists". I indicated that I would give you my 10 best foods--but then I thought, why not start with the appetizers before going on to the entrees? So here are my 10 best loved appetizers--not necessarily in size places: 1) Shrimp cocktails 2) Garden salad with 1000 Island dressing on the side 3) Caesar salad 4) Matzoh ball soup with matzoh ball on the side so more soup will fit in the bowl 5) Wonton soup 6) New England clam chowder 7)Lobster bisque 8) Split pea soup 9) Half a grapefruit 10) A beer

After such a salutary beginning, the rest of the meal--including dessert is mouth watering. My next 10--the meal itself will be coming along shortly. But at the moment I have to begin preparing for my "Hamlet" class. My friends who are reading this ought to sign up or miss the cultural experience of their dull and listless lives. "Fun With Shakespeare" opens on Friday, Jan. 9.