I often wondered what it would be like to go to Hell.
In my life I've been invited to go there by a number of people, but that was in my working days and I wasn't quite ready; and after raising four teen-agers how bad could Hell be? So, I declined the offers. In college, I read John Milton's "Paradise Lost" and Satan didn't think it was so bad when while floating around in the burning lake he addressed his host of legions and said, "The mind is its own place and can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven". I thought this to be a very wise statement and indicative of a great leader; someone who could be President of the United States. For an example of how he could lead us, he might say that the state of the economy is only in your mind. What a relief that would be!
Anyway, I don't think Satan could win the nomination of either party because he would only garner votes in the tropical states like Florida and Puerto Rico. Edward Fitzgerald had his own version of Hell when he wrote "The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayam". Omar said, "I sent my soul into the invisible some letter of that afterlife to spell; and bye and bye my soul returned and answered, 'I myself am Heaven and Hell.'" I thought that, too, was a very wise statement and that Omar might get to be President if only he were not a Muslim. Then there was Jean Paul Sartre who wrote "No Exit" the theme of which was that Hell was really "other people". Sartre was just as wise as the other two, and if he were to become President, he would say that illegal immigration, the economy, and the war was the fault of other people...so let them worry about it.
In Greek mythology the River Styx is a river which formed the boundary between Earth and the Underworld. It circles Hades nine times. When souls are sent to Hades, they get a boat ride captained by Charon who owns the ferry. So what could be so bad? Nine times around Hell in a boat is like an excursion, and since the temperature is tropical, one could wear shorts and a tee-shirt. A cap or sun-tan lotion would not be needed since there is no sun. The adjective "Stygian", of course, refers to the River Styx and means anything dark and dysmal. (For those who might prefer a different excursion, Dante, in "The Divine Comedy" has Charon ferrying folks across the Acheron. Although, it might be a bit more expensive because the Italians love balconies.)
So, if Hell is like Satan's vision, your mind can make Hell a Heaven; if it's like Omar's vision, you yourself are Heaven and Hell...so you can delete the Hell part and imagine yourself in Heaven; if Hell is like Sartre's vision, you'll be lodged in a very nice condo apartment (no A/C!) with some other people, but if you can get yourself elected to the Board you'll have the power surely to make Hell, not for you, but for those other people. The bottom line, I believe, is if you go "there"...you'll get to meet souls who are a lot more fun than the nerds in Heaven.
3 comments:
During senior year, I took the English Regents Exam, and for my essay, I wrote about a tour of Hell. Virgil was the tourguide, working for tips, and the tourists were a bunch of obnoxious Americans (redundant?) in Bermuda shorts and Hawaiian shirts. They complained about the lack of AC, threatening to call Virgil's supervisor; and they ignored his entreaties not to throw peanuts at the souls who were being starved. Virgil made ironic remarks about their lack of sophistication, but they never "got it." Virgil finally figured out that he must be in the heretofore unknown 10th Circle. Mr. Collins (who you hired), gave me a very good score, which was heaven sent.
Where did this musing come from? And, I disagree that there are more nerds in heaven than in hell.
Where did this "musing" come from? An amazing coincidence. There must be a "Hell" gene that runs in the family. Also, Robin, Baron didn't say there were "more" nerds in Heaven than in Hell. Baron would not deign to imply that he counted them. Just that the nerds in Hell were more fun.
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