Wednesday, December 26, 2007

"There's a divinity that shapes our ends..." (Hamlet)

I got up Christmas morning and ran into the living room to see what Santa had brought for me. When I got there, I found nothing and so I swept through the rest of the house frantically searching for the place where he dropped his load. Disappointedly and thoroughly dejected and pissed off, I went into the kitchen where I saw the two Mallomars that I left for him still on the paper plate. Fortunately for me, I decided he wasn't going to stop on his way back to the North Pole, and so I ate the cookies myself. I even left him some low fat milk, considering his girth and all the cookies that were going to be left for him. I wrote him a Zen note for NEXT Christmas and used two stamps considering the distance it had to go:
Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?
Right now, Rhoda is in the kitchen making brisket and kashe varniskes. Personally, I believe she thinks this is Passover after she sees all the children and grandchildren contaminating the environment here. If she puts a glass of Manishevitz wine on the table for dinner, I may have to call Social Services for her. Speaking of Social Services, visitors here this week have commented on the number of elderlies hanging on to their walkers for dear life. I tell them that this is the "walker capital" of the world. And with all these beings rolling around with their walkers, their canes, and their scooters, it looks like the Land of Oz around here. I really should not be critical; I may soon join them. When that happens, the journey of a thousand miles will begin with a single "Oy."

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm confused. Did Rhoda make brisket on Dec 25th AND Dec 26th?

Anonymous said...

She made it on the 25th and we ate it on the 26th.

Anonymous said...

OK, thank you for clearing that up.

Anonymous said...

i miss my mom brisket and kashe.