"Thus may poor fools believe false teachers" (Cymbeline)

During the course of a teaching career, there are times when you realize something is wrong and wacky with the system. Some kids learn to go along with the flow--answer the question even if you don't know the answer. The following were answers provided by 7th graders during a history test. Watch the spelling! Some of the best humor is in the misspelling. Even funnier --read aloud to someone else!

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java.

7. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.

9. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

If you will tune in tomorrow, I will drop in a few more. I'm sure you'll be waiting breathlessly by the computer. Try not to laugh hysterically. It's a known fact that some things are funny and some things are not funny. I realize that that is a deep philosophical truism. What's not funny, but certainly puzzling and mystifying is the fact that in spite of a very large family spread over the entire map of the United States, and many friends--some new, some not so new-- not one donation has come in to the City of Hope, if not for charity, at least in honor of Rhoda's election as President of the Huntington Lakes Chapter. We have cousins in California, Illinois, New York, New Jersey, Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts, Puerto Rico, and Nevada. Rho and I have children and grandchildren galore. So, where are the donations? Could it be possible that not one single member of this extended and grandiose family does not give one red cent to any charity at all during the year to deduct from their taxes? The City of Hope is a fantastic hospital in California dedicated through research to discover cures for cancer and every other disease that bedevils human beings. Rhoda went to a convention there in July, and came back with glowing reports about the facilities, the doctors, the nurses, and every other member of the staff. On the grounds are even housing for parents whose children are undergoing treatment for cancer. It's as worthy a charity as any other I can think of. So if you want to send a check for any amount you can find our address on the internet or send me an email. If you decide to send a contribution make it out to "The City of Hope". And I'm sorry if your feelings are hurt. I'll send more funny kid stuff in the next blog. You'll feel better.