Mysterious Woman on 4th St. Vanishes
Some of you have seen her.
Her manifestations are said to appear in three ways: being thrown out of Cinnabar Creek in the mornings with a soy caramel latte and a raucous cackle, screaming: "IF IT CAN'T BE BOUGHT AT CINNABAR, YOU DON'T NEED IT!"; with an equally mysterious gray-haired gentleman cowboy who appears to have two wives, both of whom are a little kooky; and with a little varmint that looks like a cat, barks like a dog, can't hold it's licker, and dresses like nothing you've ever seen.
This woman is very fleeting, coming into airport hill on a silver bird and leaving the same way. Some people only know the dog Sophie, who appears all over town and with different people all the time.
This woman speaks in strange tongues, but she claims it's Yiddish. Most of it translates into "ooftah" to us.
She claims to be a recovering government bureaucrat, altho we don't get many round these parts. She claims to have come from New York City, by way of Washington, DC, then Virginia and Florida. She also claims to have visited Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guineau, Peru, Borneo, Samoa, Galapagos, Easter Island, Africa, Portugal, Israel, and most of Europe. We think it's possible she could be either CIA or running from the law.
She is quite eccentric; examples are her little dune buggy called L'il Red, book signings that come with no notice and last for 2 minutes, curious structures that keep appearing at her residence, and strange hats including one that says "Crazy G." The most curious thing about her is her tendency to like little boys, like the Watts boys, the Rennie boys, the Stevens' boys, and that Stensaas kid.
We understand that she will be showing up at some of our Christmas and New Years' festivities, so caution is advised.
Some of you have seen her.
Her manifestations are said to appear in three ways: being thrown out of Cinnabar Creek in the mornings with a soy caramel latte and a raucous cackle, screaming: "IF IT CAN'T BE BOUGHT AT CINNABAR, YOU DON'T NEED IT!"; with an equally mysterious gray-haired gentleman cowboy who appears to have two wives, both of whom are a little kooky; and with a little varmint that looks like a cat, barks like a dog, can't hold it's licker, and dresses like nothing you've ever seen.
This woman is very fleeting, coming into airport hill on a silver bird and leaving the same way. Some people only know the dog Sophie, who appears all over town and with different people all the time.
This woman speaks in strange tongues, but she claims it's Yiddish. Most of it translates into "ooftah" to us.
She claims to be a recovering government bureaucrat, altho we don't get many round these parts. She claims to have come from New York City, by way of Washington, DC, then Virginia and Florida. She also claims to have visited Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guineau, Peru, Borneo, Samoa, Galapagos, Easter Island, Africa, Portugal, Israel, and most of Europe. We think it's possible she could be either CIA or running from the law.
She is quite eccentric; examples are her little dune buggy called L'il Red, book signings that come with no notice and last for 2 minutes, curious structures that keep appearing at her residence, and strange hats including one that says "Crazy G." The most curious thing about her is her tendency to like little boys, like the Watts boys, the Rennie boys, the Stevens' boys, and that Stensaas kid.
We understand that she will be showing up at some of our Christmas and New Years' festivities, so caution is advised.
Now this is the first I've heard that this woman, whom I assume is my esteemed daughter, is "eccentric". What can you expect a journalistic cowboy to say of a repatriate from the Bronx and Long Island? Of course, if you don't ride a horse out there you must be eccentric. And Robin chooses to scoot around in a "dune buggy".
To keep you up to date, I just got a call from the "President" saying that she has a bunch of frozen food in her car after shopping at Publix and that some "putz" is blocking her so she can't get out. ( See Blog 10/6) Now, I happen to be wearing my hearing aid and I don't know if you've ever heard Rhoda when she is furious, but I assure you that you don't want to. It's frightening. I removed my hearing aid, and it did absolutely no good. Fire and brimstone were spewing forth from her lips. I told her I would rush over to transfer the food to my car and go back later to pick up hers, but as I was walking out the door, she called again and said they finally came out of the store and she said that they should be shipped back to whatever foreign country they came from...probably Uganda or Caladonia.
2 comments:
Shakespeare is the one who first penned "Go, girl!"? I always thought it was Oprah.
Uh Uh. Not Oprah. Shakespeare first penned everything. I think he's the one that created the world in seven days.
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