Bad Dog! Bad Dog!

I've come to the conclusion that having a computer is like having a bad dog in the house. I can't recall when I first summoned up the courage to go out and purchase one. I really got tired of hearing this dot com and that dot com on TV commercials, wondering if this world were passing me by; something like my getting off the train and watching it disappear in the distance. I had no clue as to what dot coms meant, and I thought a web site was something that a spider cooked up, if you don't mind the mixed metaphor. Anyway, I got my first computer from Gateway. The sales clerk was very helpful in answering all my questions and I had a knowledgeable friend and neighbor help me set it up. Let me say that the experience was totally nerve wracking. Opening the cartons, taking out the instructions half of which were in Japanese; half of which were in Spanish; and the rest in English. Untangling the wires, finding a place for the computer, the monitor, the printer, the microphone, the mouse, the speakers. If it were not for the good auspices of my neighbor I would have flagellated myself, pounded my chest, and screamed like Tarzan.

After awhile, I became somewhat good at turning it on, and gradually advanced my computer skills from that point. Now, in the past few years I've gone through three computers. The first one died from electric shock, and the second passed away during Hurricane Wilma. Now I'm on my third and I'm getting quite adept at fighting back all the glitches, error messages, and strange behaviours that keep popping up inspite of popup blockers. A computer is like a pet in the house...a dog...but a bad dog who often doesn't do what you tell it to do. Of course, it won't sit up and roll over, but very often will play dead. Just when you get rolling on writing an email or surfing the net...(See, I know the jargon!)...it "crashes". Then you have to figure a way to wake it up. Control; Alt; Delete.... Restart. Restore point to last week. You're a bad dog, but we love you.

One of the most delightful of features on the computer is the one where you "chat" with some techie to see if he/she can help you to navigate some web page or correct some problem or other. I've chatted so often with techies from LULU, my book publisher, that we've gotten to know each other and we've sort of bonded. I was curious as to where the chatterboxes were, and was amazed to find they were from Oregon, N.Dakota, N. Carolina, Australia, and Pakistan...for a few. I cannot figure out how they were all hired from so many disparate locations, and how they were able to respond to my questions and problems. Could it be from computers in their homes?

I'm only kidding. My computer is a "good" dog, without whose company, I could not be writing books and blogs.