Dear Blog Readers:
I was presented with the honor of filling in as a Guest Blogger for the Red Baron. As soon as I dispensed with the customary questions, like Who is the Red Baron, and receiving the requisite answers, I immediately dispatched myself to my computer and have been staring at a blank screen for the greater part of an hour.
I learned the meaning of "writers block." What kind of message can I impart to the hordes of readers expecting to be immersed in the world of the Red Baron and his wife, Rhoda, who has retired to an age 55 and over community in Delray Beach, Florida. Rhoda, incidentally, had to get a special dispensation from the Condo Rulers, who at first suspected that Dr Norman Ross's PHD referred to Pedophilia, since Rhoda is so much younger.
Now that I have completed the required sucking up. I can now continue.
The Red Baron has been in the Local Hospital for the past few days, being probed and jabbed in every orifice on his body and has been awaiting discharge with one final signature missing to complete the ouster. They find nothing wrong with him. Therefore, he will be back with us and more important, he and Rhoda and Helen and I can continue on our culinary jaunts, taxing the patience of our food servers with my submission of my corn ball humor. Want an example? How about my bragging of having a picture of "My Pride and Joy" and offering them a copy? Voila! Out comes a picture of a bottle of Pride next to a bottle of Joy, a former dish washing liquid that is now defunct. Hey, I never said that I had class.
And if you survived that onslaught, I would offer them a picture of my grandson. This is a photo of a very nice looking mother holding a male infant a few months old, ready to immerse him in a bath. What made this photo unique is....how shall I put this....it was computer enhanced by some atavistic dege
nerate who enlarged one characteristic organ of this child to 10 times the normal size. I must admit that this is my favorite gag and in spite of the shock and dismay that occur, (one out of forty, including clergy, that misrepresent themselves as normal by not wearing identifiable clothing or name tags) I continue to spread my obvious warped humor among Florida's denizens.Welcome Back, Red Baron.................Mike Herbstman
(I include a picture of Mike Herbstman at the age of 13)
7 comments:
Alla hu akhbar!!!
This topic have a tendency to become boring but with your creativeness its great.
It could widen my imagination towards the things that you are posting.
The comments have as much relevance, humor, and intellectual content as the inane post itself.
PLEASE come back, Red Baron. Thank you.
Who is this perverted dirty old man to think that he can replace the noble Norman Ross? Send him to the showers (a cold one).
Why pick on the Red Baron's temporary proxy? We can't expect an exact replica of the Baron, so let's give him a break. And by "break" I do NOT mean break his writing arm.
Doc, please get better soon. I enjoy your utterances, it's almost like talking with you. You possess great active voice, a style I practice but when I read back my work, well, it's just not there yet. Keep the faith. My son, Mike, who's 34 took me out to play golf on Father's Day (I know, I read your blog) and, when I commented about the poor attitude of our server, he gently advised me not to get upset with people who are not civil. "Feel sorry for them because they're either unhappy or ignorant. Just set a good example and move on." Pretty savvy advice and it humbled me coming from my own blood over 3 decades younger.
Thanks for the almost daily communication and know there are people out here listening and enjoying your insights and wisdom. Your former student, Bob Fox
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