"Afh yenems tukhes is gut sepatchen."

Good day, my friends, enemies, and relatives. This is my 225th blog, not that I'm bragging--just counting. I can't believe that I've had that much to say, but it's my way of communicating to the outside world--telling it how I feel and what I'm thinking. Who knows? Perhaps there's a shrink or two out there who is reading these who may have some advice. Although in the past couple of days I'm been getting a lot of advice, and complaints from the advisors that I'm being "stubborn". I have written to them and said that because they call me stubborn doesn't mean that it is so. It simply means that since their advice, well meant, is in a state of equilibrium, and I'm not immediately accepting of it, in their minds I'm "stubborn". Not.

Now, if we continue on the theme of calling people by names that may or not apply, or which may or not be well meant, I've been reading a lot of news items regarding Muslims referring to non-believers in the Koran as "infidels". It is my understanding that the word was first used in the Christian Church to refer to those who did not believe in the divinity of Jesus. In Islam, "infidel" refers only to those who do not believe in the one God, with the exception of the extremists who believe it's OK to kill all infidels who do not accept the Muslim faith. Well, to those extremists--like Al Qaida and Bin Ladin--I say that Judaism is going to fight back. For example, if they call us infidels, then we can call them "schlemiels" or "schlamazels." If they declare a jihad against us, why not hit them back by letting them know we are visiting upon them a "vicious varnishke"? That should frighten them because surely they don't know a varnishke from a kasha. Now also, they've come up in the past with something they call an "intifada". Why not taunt them back by declaring a "gefilteknish" against them? That should strike a note of terror. After they suffer from that catastrophe and declare that those affected are "martyrs" why not say that our guys are "fartyrs". Their martyrs, we should mention, will not get 79 virgins when they leave this world, but 79 "farshlepteh krenks". When we sneak one of our fartyrs aboard one of their buses, and he explodes, then they'll know what terror is all about. And on our side, we have the Father of All Fartyrs in Sir Mike Herbstman who is the resurrection of the Dybbuk himself. Finally, in our own retaliatory arsenal we can release

our own version of Bin Laden in the GOLEM! (In Yiddish, pronounced "goilem"). He is resting in the Old-New Synagogue in Prague in a crypt all his own. When they experience our Golem, the whole Islamic world should sue for peace.

(Translation: Someone else's ass is easy to smack) GOLEM